Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
