Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
