physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
