that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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