So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
