i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize