Sry I called you an 8
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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