i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
