Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
