I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
