awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
