I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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