brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
