someone threw a dead crab at me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
