I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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