The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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