haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
