brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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