It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
