A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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