that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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