My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
