I will die if light touches me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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