"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
