i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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