He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
