IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
