ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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