I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
