clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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