And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
