great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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