Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
