I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
