At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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