ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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