i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
