I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
third nipple confirmed
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
