Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Barsexuality is the new black.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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