That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
