I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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