barbara walters just said penis...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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