i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
