nut hugger
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
