You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
