we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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