he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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