oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
