I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
