I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
