i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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